The Corporatization of Google

Buh-bye pr0n

The personal blog of San Francisco’s Violet Blue, a sex writer published in the San Francisco Chronicle and Valleywag’s sister site, has been removed from the Google index, along with several other adult sites. Tiny Nibbles, which runs a well-known annual list of the year’s sexiest geeks, does not show in Google’s search results, even if filters are turned off. Other sites affected include ErosBlog, a sex news site, and Comstock Films, which makes adult movies of real-life couples. The content’s all legal, and naughty, rather than degrading. Some word Violet wrote probably triggered a Google ban, inadvertently, but the search engine’s rules are opaque, as is the procedure for an appeal against deletion. You think there are other search engines, so that’s okay? There are no other search engines.

Personal pr0n, anyway. Bigger players such as Vivid and other more corporate-ish sex sites are still available of course.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

From the “why didn’t I think of that?” Files…

Ever wondered how much dough is in a pint of CCCD ice cream and what it would taste like cooked? Well, now you have an answer.

The Xmas Death Trio

It was an interesting triumverate of deceased this year. James Brown, Frank Stanton, and Gerald Ford.

The Godfather of Soul, the father of news television, and … the inspiration for Chevy Chase’s best SNL bits. Hard to come up with a lasting Ford impression.

Joe Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera fame) also passed, but four legs breaks the Rule of Three, so I’m going to ignore it.

I’d write a long obit about James Brown and what his music meant to me (not to mention the world), but he’s way too busy getting a new pair of shoes in his afterlife of choice, teaching Rick James what funk is all about. Nothing left to say, outside of the bad jokes that keep popping into my head (e.g. the hardest working man in showbiz is now Kid Rock).

Hit it!

Best Holiday Movie Ever?

Discuss

How To Hide Your Porn... on a Mac

What with the appletistas taking over and all, I thought some of them might like to learn how to hide their files from casual snooping. Obfuscation isn’t security, but it might, say, keep your friend who is borrowing your laptop to check their webmail from opening your private full-frontal photoshoots featuring yourself, three goats, and a couple jars of peanut butter.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Mariners to get Jose Vidro in exchange for Snelling, Fruto

The Seattle Mariners would acquire second baseman Jose Vidro in a tentative trade that would send outfielder Chris Snelling and pitcher Emiliano Fruto to the Washington Nationals.

Vidro, an immobile, injury-prone, washed up 2B (when you have a young, promising 2B already in the system, so the Vidro-2B will have to DH) who is owed $12M for an injury prone, highly talented OF and a med-high ceiling pitcher? FSM, Bavasi, that’s just embarassingly bad. Horrible. Beyond the pale.

I’m glad I’m not a fan of the Mariners or I’d have to go set something on fire right about now.

Gunga galunga

With Ramirez, Batista, Washburn, and probably Thomson in the fold… the Seattle Mariners could set the record for fewest K’s in one year in the modern era next year.

So at least they’ve got that going for them.

p.s. you stink, Bavasi!

'tis the Season

… to give everyone a Shocker 101 education. Fun for the whole family (or your partner, at least).

And there’s more, including a mug and a spaghetti strap tank top for that cute girlfriend of yours. The dark color shirts (black, maroon, green, blue) are selling like hotcakes.

Supplies are unlimited! Make sure you get yours today before they don’t run out!

(if you want, you can make your own stuff, too)

How to keep your home's appreciation in the family

Though the bubble has burst, our homes are still almost always going to be our single greatest asset. And when we sell those assets, our eyes get as big as saucers when looking at all the apprecation our lovely four walls have accumulated. However, there are some things that can significantly reduce the amount you will realize from that appreciation. Taxes aside, real estate agent fees are the biggest chunk. With a little extra work and/or creativity on your part, the agent fees can largely be avoided.

A typical home sale incurs agency fees of 6-7%, with half going to the selling agent and half to the buying agent. Selling and buying a home involves a lot a paperwork and is a total pain in the ass… but 7% is a steep tax to pay (on a $500,000 home sale, you’ll be paying $30,000 in agent fees). How can you avoid paying it?

To avoid the buyer agent fees, you could sell only to unrepresented buyers. That will limit your pool of available buyers, but it can save you some money. Essentially, though, I think paying the buyer agent fees is nigh unavoidable, which leaves the selling agent.

Traditionally, there’s the for sale by owner route. There are a number of websites that will let you list your house FSBO for a flat fee (as little as $399).

I think a great middle ground (and fast-rising option) is Redfin. They have a flat $2,000 fee like the FSBO sites, but also have experienced sales agents who will show your home and take care of all that onerous paperwork. That $30,000 in agent fees for your $500,000 home just became $17,000 ($15,000 for buyer agent + $2,000 for Redfin). You could potentially save yourself $28,000 if you find a buyer not using an agent.

And that, as my mom would say, is better than a kick in the pants.

I have no association or relationship with Redfin… but I’ll be using them when I put my house up for sale in the near future.

The difference between pros and hacks

Pros come ready to perform. Hacks forget the lines to their one song and flub even the simplest parts.

Fergie? You’re a hack.

Not as much of one as Jess Simpson of course, but still a hack.

Brady

I’m not a football fan by any means, but this is funny. It also made me reconsider my sexual orientation.

I don’t know how to quit you, Brady.

I’m a tight end
but I hope one day
to be your wide receiver
how I long for you to hit meeeee
in the slot

Genius!

Still lite blogging ... blame the partners

Today’s episode straight from Anonymous Lawyer is where the partner, after sitting on a report for 3 days, decides at 3pm on Friday to ask for a huge volume of work “by Monday.” As part of this, the person tasked with 99% of the work is the one who is paid the least, has no authority, and will under no circumstances be getting a bonus this year.

So, long story short, I told ‘em to stick it.

Contact lurve

The Ciba Vision Clear Care product is the only, repeat only, contact solution that ghostfinger enjoys, recommends, and uses without qualification. Unfortunately, we can’t find it in the stores around here.

Luckily for us, there’s this intertube thing:

Seriously, she loves this Clear Care stuff. And if it’s ghostfinger-recommended, you know it has got to be good.

Drat

My multimillion dollar patent idea… has already been worked out.

US researchers have outlined a relatively simple system that could deliver power to devices such as laptop computers or MP3 players without wires.

The concept exploits century-old physics and could work over distances of many metres, the researchers said.

Figures that would happen 2 weeks after I think of it. Boo.

Interesting idea

Interesting… and a bad investment

Stocks, bonds or Steen? That’s a question that 19-year-old Ron Steen of Anaheim Hills,Calif., hopes investors will wrestle with.

In August, Steen put himself on eBay (Charts) to pay for his college education, offering 2 percent of all future earnings to the highest bidder, with a minimum $100,000 bid.

What with Steen having to average 1.5M/year until age 65 to match a 6% investment, I’m thinking he’s not going to have any takers. Bonus points for audacity, though.

More Dealios - computer gaming

Ghostfinger’s doing this project about violence and computer games, which got me thinking… man, I love games! And when I buy games, I go to GoGamer (all the way back to the day when it used to be called CompuExpert).

Being forced to use a laptop as my primary machine has really killed off a lot of my favorite games. Well, that and having all my free time sucked up elsewhere, that is. In any event, I recommend GoGamer highly if you’re in the market for some games.

… if I was shopping for myself, I’d get Neverwinter Nights 2

Neverwinter Nights 2 DVD

(since they’re apparently never going to freaking release Jade Empire). If you’ve got to play on a console, you can’t go wrong with a Madden Football (consoles are the only time football is acceptable)

The Things I Learned Yesterday

During my 7 hour, yes 7 hour (6:30p to 1:30a), 30 mile trip from my home to ghostfinger’s last night, I had the following thoughts:

1) Fun! What a remarkably enjoyable experience! I was especially enjoying the part where I neither went to the bathroom nor ate before I left.

2) I freaking love my car. I will not trade it, I will not sell it, not for all the diamonds in the world. The boomoblile not only never slipped (in a way that would be her fault - there was a point where we were caught on an elevated cloverleaf freeway entrance and all the cars started sliding to the guard rail. From a dead stop. FUN!), but she was the only car that seemed to make it through everything OK. If you’ve got the Boomobile on your side, then you’re in good hands.

3) FUN!

Slow blogging

out of town, working. You know, that stuff.

Anyway, I missed making more gift recommendations for Black Friday. Which is OK, since I’m more into the Dont’ Buy Anything Today Friday aspect of things. Besides, it’s easy to find a deal for Black Friday. What’s hard is finding one on the third Tuesday in November with a red bow and zombie repellent throwins.

Mmm... Cameras

I can’t think of a better consumer guide to top notch cameras than Flickr’s new Camera Finder utility.

Looks like the Canon EOS Rebel XT is the hands-down winner. The others are the Nikon D50, Canon EOS 20D, Nikon D70, and the Canon Digital Rebel (non XT version).

Guess where I’m looking first when I get my digital SLR camera?

The author ejection seat

Following Henry’s following of Jim Henley’s following of Adrienne Aldredge’s meme:

What authors have you given up on for good? And why?

Now, we’ve got two people saying Dan Simmons so I can’t use him. Which is unfortunate, since he certainly deserves to be on the list, both because of the GWOT malarkey and his horrible second-novels in each series he’s done. So… here’s my list of authors that started off great. Our relationship was perfect and my love for them burned brighter than two suns … only to fizzle when they kept publishing past their expiration date. These authors are dead to me, our love a dry, barren, scorched earth of place where only the unlikeliest of seeds may take root henceforth:

Chuck Palahniuk. Invisible Monsters, Fight Club, and Survivor were fantastic. Choke was good. But Diary, Lullaby, and Haunted were all empty nothings that lacked the energy, vision, and genius of his earlier work. I was pretty sure I was done after Diary, but I’m certain I’m done after Haunted.

Neal Stephenson. There, I’ve said it. Quicksilver was such an awful book that it overwhelmed the truly awe-inspiring works of Snow Crash and Diamond Age. and I liked the Big U, Zodiac, and Cryptonomicron as well. Interface… not so much (it was a long way to go just to get a black woman as president). Visionary, meth-and-death-metal fueled genius… toppled under it’s own weight and affectation of writing three massive tomes longhand.

Orson Scott Card. Three of his works were fantastic - Ender’s Game, Seventh Son, and Red Prophet. Some were pretty good (like the first two in the Homecoming series), but every book after the second in each of his series was just awful. The returning to former glories with Ender’s Shadow and the like is just pathetic. The well is dry, Orson. That and the freaking incessant pounding of the Mormon mythology drums just gets tiresome.

On the bubble: Neil Gaiman, Greg Bear, George R. R. Martin, Jim Butcher, Stephen King
Definitely on the list, but too trite to mention: J.K. Rowling, Robert Jordan, Michael Moore, Anne Rice

Hot Fuzz

I just saw the teaser poster for Hot Fuzz:

The guy on the left? That’s Simon Pegg. You know, that hilarious guy from Spaced and Shaun of the Dead? I’m psyched for Hot Fuzz just based on Pegg’s involvement, though I really think they need to get working on Day of the Ed.

Gifts - 19" widescreen LCD megahot deal

Newegg is currently carrying a smoking hot deal for a 19″ widescreen LCD (4ms refresh rate) for $190. If I was using anything besides my laptop, I’d jump all over that. Maybe two and dual-screen it. That would be awesome.

I can’t link directly to the product with Newegg’s aff links, but it’s the top deal o’ the day today. If it’s not there when you click, search for “SAMSUNG 941BW“. $229.99 - $40 mail in rebate.

Pet Peeve o' the week

I have two DVD-specific rants. One, concerning the technology itself, where the designers have prohibited you from going directly to the menu and you can’t reauthor the DVD because of that egregious violation of our fair use rights known as the DMCA.

But today… today we’re going to talk about something else: DVDs for television series that do not place their chapter marks right after the opening credits. Yeah, I’m talking to you Stargate SG-1 and The Wire (and the early seasons of The Sopranos). After you’ve seen the credits once, do you really need to keep on seeing the menus the next 12-21 times you watch the series? And you can’t even find out that the chapter points are set at ass-random times until after it’s too late.

So here’s to you, underthinking DVD designers! Give us freakin’ appropriately-placed chapter points.

Gifts - Terry Pratchett

Hey, did you know that Terry Pratchett as a new book out? Because he does. It’s called Wintersmith. And the Nac Mac Feegle are in it too!

FSM, I love the Nac Mac Feegle (what are they good for? Drinkin’! Drinkin’ and what? Drinkin’ and fightin’! Drinkin and fightin and what? Drinkin’ and fightin’ and stealin’!). Don’t know who Terry Pratchett is? Why, he’s only the wittiest, funniest, satirical writer in like… ever. His most famous and successful construct is a fictional universe called Discworld. It’s a flat planet that sits on top of four giant elephants who stand on the shell of the great space turtle A’Tuin. The series is inspired storytelling and genius disguised as satire. I’m such a fanboi, I’ve even reviewed and provided capsule summaries of all 30-something Discworld books, feel free to peruse at your leisure. But comment so I can feel some lurve.

Anyway, books are always cool gifts and Pratchett is good fun for the whole family. So he’s going on my wishlist as well as the Deals n’ Gifts list. Pratchett and Susanna Clarke’s The Ladies of Gracie Adieu are the books I’m most looking forward to these days. Well, that and the next 3 from Steven Erikson.

Vino

Here’s a new idea (for me) for gift giving this year - wine! Now, I’m no oenophile or even a connoisseur, but in the under-$20 reds category, I’ve got some decent experience. Interestingly enough, wine.com has a category just for that (though they include whites too. Apparently, some people like it sweet), which makes my choices a lot easier.

We’re generally a shiraz/syrah house, but I’ve heard good things about the Folie à Deux Ménage à Trois Red ($9) and the Cantena Malbec ($18, 90 rating). Of shiraz’ I know and like, they have the Fat Bastard Shiraz for $11, though I can’t seem to find my favorite cheap deal find of the year, the Lindeman Padthaway shiraz 2003 (they don’t appear to carry Lindeman at all. Oh well) and that screwtop Pinot Noir $11 thing that was awesome but who’s name escapes me at the moment. Sigh.

Wine.com also offers glassware, of course, and they have their own most popular gift suggestion ideas as well.

Coming from what is essentially a teetotaler family, the idea of gifting alcohol on the holidays is new ground to me, yet appealing. This year, at least. And remember - a glass of red a day keeps the heart healthy!

Matsuzaka

Well, the BoSox are paying $51.1M to talk to the best free agent pitcher available this offseason. Is he worth the 80-90 million he’s going to cost? Quite possibly. When you add together that his translated stats are better than Clemens’ over the past 3 years and the increase in money from Japanese marketing and that he’s only 26 and can still improve… I could see the deal working out. It’s possible that he tanks or gets hurt, of course, but I think from a business standpoint, he’s at least a break even proposition (and that’s not even getting to the marginal monetary value of the wins that he brings to the table).

A Matsuzaka-Schilling-Beckett front three would be pretty impressive (if flyball heavy), especially for a team that has poor OF defense. We don’t know who the Sox are going to put in the corners, but let’s assume Manny and a slugger leaving mediocre+ Crisp in center. That’s… somewhat troublesome, but not overly so for such a K-heavy top three.

Anyway, who cares about that. Let’s see how he pitches!

Slider:

The infamous gyroball:

If you’re in a fantasy league next year, I recommend trash talking and comparing him to Irabu. Then picking him up on the cheap.

Deals? Buy used and after market

I’m a huge believer in buying used things, particularly in areas where immediacy is not an issue and quality does not decline much, if at all.

Yeah, I’m looking at you, books. Textbooks, novels, hardcover, softcover, whatever. Used books markets are the greatest invention in the history of ever. The one I use? Half.com.

This is the least obnoxious banner they have offered (the others are all those lovely animated gifs. Woo.):

I think I saved over $300 last semester on ghostfinger’s textbooks by using half.com for most of the purchases (this was before I knew about Valore., so I’ll definitely comparison shop next semster). Anyway, half.com totally rocks and it’ll save you a bundle of money.

I’m a big believer in giving books away too of course, but iffen I’m going to be buying, the first place I looke is half.com. You can get CDs and DVDs on half.com as well, though I’ve been less successful for those products compared to its competitors (like Amazon marketplace) in terms of savings.

Good tips from a script reader

Good luck, buddies

According to Quentin Tarantino, if a rookie screenwriter wants to get their script read by the right people in Hollywood they must first find a way to bypass the script readers. In the director's eyes, a reader will never recommend you since they're frustrated writers themselves and don't want anyone else to succeed. Tarantino was killing me softly with his advice, telling my whole life, with his words, killing me softly. Yes, I do read scripts on occasion for extra cash and I'm also currently writing a script that I know everyone will hate and that I'll never finish anyway. However, I assure you that we readers have nothing but respect for the show-offs who actually complete a script. It's more accurate to say that we're hoping your script is very, very, very bad.

I’m not really tacking with the cut of his motherfuqin jibe, but they’re good tips to keep in mind while you’re-

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
What is that perfume you are wearing?

CMo looks at the camera directly and shrugs.

writing your killer screenplay.

Cool Gift Ideas - the Sleepwalker

The Sleeptracker! It's a watch! It's an alarm clock! It's a watch alarm that only wakes you up when you are at the appropriate moment in your sleep cycle!

I've met a couple of people who have this watch now and they swear by it. What it does is:

• Sleeptracker monitors your sleeping patterns to wake you up at the right time



• Wake up during an optimal "almost-awake" moment of your regular sleep pattern



• Designed to wake you in a pre-set "alarm window" timeframe so you wake feeling refreshed and energized
  


• Continuously monitors your body for signals that you are nearly awake to wake you at the best time

Sure the Sleeptracker is a touch on the ugly/geek side, but wouldn't it be worth it to be woken up every day at the best possible part of your sleep cycle, refreshed, invigorated, and ready to face the day?

Let the holiday crush begin!

For the next six weeks or so, I’m going to try and post a daily deal or gift idea. This may or may not continue past that time, but for now, let’s window shop!

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/13/let-the-holiday-crush-begin/

Occasional $$$-update

I am a member of a few different programs that I can support without reservation. I'm not a fan of advertisements or anything that interferes with the free flow of information, but in a few instances I've signed up with some programs that I can endorse without reservation and if you sign up through me (via the links below), you get the same deal everyone else gets... and I get a little bit of money for referring you.

Also, I wanted to state for posterity who butters my muffin - theoretically of course, since I've never actually gotten anything from any of these companies - in the interests of full disclosure.


Books, Movies, Music, Everything

• iTunes - $0.99 songs, $9.99 albums, audiobooks, videos, and more.


• Barnes & Noble - books, music, videos, and other goodies.


• Amazon - books, clothing, electronics, music, movies, and more.


• Netflix - great library, great rates, no late fees.


• Valore Books - specializing in textbooks (buying and selling)

Electronics and Computer Hardware

• Apple - shop for some great hardware and software at good prices, including the iPod (nano, shuffle, inspi(red)), a MacBook, and tons of other goodies.
  


• TigerDirect - great prices, large inventory

Telecommunications

• Packet8 - VOIP, with unlimited calling and long distance for $19.99/month

Web Hosting

• Gate.com - Professional, fast web hosting + $1 domain names


• Hostmonster - Web Hosting, unlimited domains for $4.95


• Bluehost


• Hostgator


• Dreamhost

Domain Parking

• NameDrive - great interface, good payouts.


• Sedo - most traffic, best auctions

Amazing fact! Music available on the interweb thing

No, really. And there’s this place that is the leading music shop on the whole of the truck-filled tubular net doohickey, called eye-music. Now, I don’t know why they call it that, since you listen with your ears, but that’s what they call it so that’s what I’m calling it.

Sure, Mondegreen is available for free download … but it’s also on the eye-music even without any videos! Isn’t that cool?

I gave it a look and it’s $1/song and $10/album (roughly). The best part is - you won’t get sued by the RIAA! Sweet!

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/08/amazing-fact-music-available-on-the-interweb-thing/

Voter Protection stuff

I spent yesterday ensuring that everyone who came to my assigned precinct who wanted to vote could vote (provisionally, if nothing else). There were no disruptions outside of one crank (my state is not New Jersey, Tennessee, Ohio, or Florida … thankfully enough) and everyone there was quite knowledgable after working elections together for 20 years.

It was safe, boring, and peaceful. Just the way democracy should be.

For an off-year election, turnout was super high. Since there were no wedge issues on our ballot, I took that as a sign people were pissed as hell… which I found out late last night was pretty much true, even if that fucktard Lieberman’s still around in a position of even more possible damage to the republic than ever before.

But let’s not focus on that for the moment. Let’s focus on the zero-loss unprecedented Dem victory in 3 branches of government (house, senate, gubernatorial)!

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/08/voter-protection-stuff/

Getting My Democracy On

No blogging for me today, I’ll be out volunteering as part of the Voter Protection program.

Vote!

Don’t shoot anyone in the face while I’m out.

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/07/getting-my-democracy-on/

Addicted... to Politics

While trying to figure out how I could monetize my “$100 million and climbing” HSX brilliance, I found Intrade. Holy cow is this awesome. Actual money on politics and news events. Of course, given my recent successful predictions (and GOP shenanigans), this is could just be an even easier way to lose money than Lotto.

Here’s a snapshot of some of the things you can trade in (I don’t know precisely what will come up; it’s a dynamically generated frame):

And their banner advertisement looks something like this:

Yet another thing that’s probably more Chartoo’s forte than mine, but I’m kind of excited about day trading in the presidential aspirations of Saint Rudy. I know. I need to get out more.

The biggest problem I had so far was actually getting money into the system - their security is quite a bit more comprehensive than the one-click universe we’ve been inhabiting. This is good in that I’m pretty confident any phishers aren’t going to be going there to take your money, but it can also be a drawback if you spot a sweet market opportunity for the avian flu’s arrival date in the U.S.

If you click the banner ad above, theoretically I get $50 if you both put some money in and do a bunch of trading over the next 90 days. If you just want to go to intrade.com and skip the lurve-giving to me part, I’m totally OK with that. I’ll just give you the puppy dog eyes and maybe sigh a little bit.

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/06/addicted-to-politics/

What I want for Xmas

Is a supermegafantastique coffee maker.

Braun KF600!!!


It's got all the features of the Capresso MT500 (vacuum carafe, stainless steel, timer, gold filter, water filter), without the ridiculous $170 price tag and complaints about constant overflowing onto your floor. Braun it is. Woo!!

Another one of my favorite things

Netflix! Unless you’re a sports or talk show junkie, once you subscribe to Netflix, you no longer need to pay for cable. If you cancel your cable and keep a 3-disc Netflix setup, that will save you anywhere from $30 to $85 per month ($360 to $1020/year).

(if you join Netflix, enter m friends network so I can send you Kstrike>inappropriate movies that you’ll hate suggestions that you’ll love and vice versa)

Originally posted at: http://cmoore.com/2006/11/05/another-one-of-my-favorite-things/

Well

Looks like I figured out at least one way to simul-post. Sweeet.

(also available at http://cmoore.com/2006/11/04/well/)

And books... did I mention I love books?

Because I do.

After mentioning web hosting

I realized that you'll be needing some computer gear and such in order to make those websites to be hosted by someone like hostgator. And for gear, TigerDirect is pretty sweet.

National novel writing month

and I think it behooves all of us you to get off your ass and make November a novel to remember! To that end, NanoWrimo.org has a site set up for you to encourage and help you in this endeavor, so sign up now. And you can link to buddies that will also encourage you and/or mock you for your inability to write 50,000 words in one month. And if you make it, you get a nice little ribbon image to post on your site.

Here's my page, with my awesome 0 words entered. Mock away! (just make sure to friend me so I can mock you back)

Anyone need some webhosting?

If you're in the market for some webhosting, and enjoy getting a great deal, consider signing up with Bluehost (my hosting company). $6.95/mo with tons of space and domain options. Can't say I've been disappointed.

Best part is if you sign up through me, *I* get a little lurve from them, which makes it easier for me to keep on blogging. Woo.



Or, if Bluehost isn't to your liking, how about Hostmonster? They offer a load of features for a price even lower than Bluehost's.



Hostgator, too

aaaaand Dreamhost

Socializin the music scene with Mondegreen

Getting around to updating my much-neglected music section and added Mondegreen to Last.fm, the social music site. I've got a new song that will be officially released tonight as well, and a bunch in the queue I need to polish off.

It's weird, I just realized today that the album is for sale on Amazon, though their pricing is a bit of a mystery to me (considering it's $8 on CD Baby (or $6 for some sales), $12 on Cafepress (that's as low as I could get it, $1 over cost) and free for download here and on last.fm. Still, it's strange to see yourself on Amazon... or in iTunes or Emusic.

Creativity, thine name is... me!

Every now and then a phrase will pop into my head. Eventually a few of these become part of my artistic ouevre. More often, they just sit there, looking cool. Taunting me with their potential that I just can't quite grasp.

Here are some that I know I'm not going to be using anytime soon. Well, probably. They may appear in a story somewhere. Anyway, they're stuck in my head so they've got to go somewhere. Lucky you.

• Babies with Rabies


• Christianarchy


• Falafellatio


• Grandson of Sam


• George Oh, well


• Jesus Loves to Bake


• Wait Loss


• Arm the Homeless


• Colonel of Truth

Most of these fall into the too-punny-to-be-useful pile. Just wait to see what I've got on tap, y'all.

Six-word stories

Wired's doing this thing of six-word stories submitted by actual writers.

It sounded like fun, so I thought I'd do a few:

• Will you be mine? No? Damn.



• I tried to fly. I failed.



• The feather fell slowly, unlike Margaret.

Ain't no bomb like the one I've got

So many GOP malfeasors, so little time.

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl

--AZ-01: Rick Renzi

--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth

--CA-04: John Doolittle

--CA-11: Richard Pombo

--CA-50: Brian Bilbray

--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave

--CO-05: Doug Lamborn

--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell

--CT-04: Christopher Shays

--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan

--FL-16: Joe Negron

--FL-22: Clay Shaw

--ID-01: Bill Sali

--IL-06: Peter Roskam

--IL-10: Mark Kirk

--IL-14: Dennis Hastert

--IN-02: Chris Chocola

--IN-08: John Hostettler

--IA-01: Mike Whalen

--KS-02: Jim Ryun

--KY-03: Anne Northup

--KY-04: Geoff Davis

--MD-Sen: Michael Steele

--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht

--MN-06: Michele Bachmann

--MO-Sen: Jim Talent

--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns

--NV-03: Jon Porter

--NH-02: Charlie Bass

--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson

--NM-01: Heather Wilson

--NY-03: Peter King

--NY-20: John Sweeney

--NY-26: Tom Reynolds

--NY-29: Randy Kuhl

--NC-08: Robin Hayes

--NC-11: Charles Taylor

--OH-01: Steve Chabot

--OH-02: Jean Schmidt

--OH-15: Deborah Pryce

--OH-18: Joy Padgett

--PA-04: Melissa Hart

--PA-07: Curt Weldon

--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick

--PA-10: Don Sherwood

--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee

--TN-Sen: Bob Corker

--VA-Sen: George Allen

--VA-10: Frank Wolf

--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick

--WA-08: Dave Reichert

You sure that ratio is right?

Stealing Time

One senior professional I met had a rule that she lived by: the 80:10:10 rule. She spent 80% of her workweek doing the best work she could possibly do, 10% of her workweek focused on her personal and intellectual development, and the remaining 10% telling as many people as possible what a good job she was doing during the 80% of the time she was actually doing her job!

I'm awesome. And clearly anal enough to have broken down my Guide to a Successful Work Life into a neat pie chart. Here it is, though in list form. Bow before me and tremble, foolish mortals:

• 2% - Telling people how awesome I am at what I do.


• 6% - Meetings with psychotic control freak admin assistants.


• 7% - Work. It totally blows.


• 18% - Showing people how awesome I am... by correcting their screwups.


• 67% - goofing off and surfing the web Personal and intellectual development.

My development is through the roof!

p.s. have I parked anything lately?

It's teh funny

But I can't remember the product

Because my audience demanded it

Shocker 101 Mugs



They're going to be all the rage as stocking stuffers this year, I just know it.

More Popular than you could ever imagine

I'm not quite sure what happened, but my Shocker 101 t-shirts (available in white or black!) are suddenly selling like virtual hotcakes.



Supplies are unlimited! Make sure you get yours today before they don't run out!

Because everyone needs to know the difference between the Spocker and the Showstopper.

Anchorman - 0/5

I finally got around to watching "I like scotch!  Scotchy scotch scotch scotch" <a Anchorman this weekend and...

it is quite possibly the worst movie I have seen in the past five years.

As best as I can tell, it was a vehicle to see how far Will Ferrell could carry a crappy movie.  The answer?  About 10 minutes.  From the boring opening to the stylish-but-not-nearly-stylish-enough 70s schtick, it was pure, unadulterated crap.  The dialogue was abysmal, the characters were amateurish, the plot was nonexistent, the acting was pure dogshit (natch), and the only single redeeming feature was Steve Carell - and he seriously needs to watch out for that typecasting thing (though I think he may be big enough to avoid that wrecking ball.  Evan Almighty should tell us one way or the other).

You know, if I wanted to watch a 2 hour movie about a moron in an absurd setting - but one that was actually funny - I'd pop in Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison.  

Will, I know Adam Sandler, and you, sir, are no Adam Sandler.  At no point in this rambling, incoherent mess of a movie did you come close to engaging the audience or obtaining even a chuckle.  I award you no points, and may FSM have mercy on your soul.

Familiarity, meet contempt

OK, the more I watch Battlestar Galactica, the more I'm hating it.  I just can't get past the hackneyed, deus ex machina, by-the-numbers writing.  It's got a serious case of 24-itis.  When ultra narcissist Gaias doesn't turn in Cylons because it would be too much effort, you know the writing sucks.  A real self-interested motivation would be to turn the Cylon in for the glory and life preservation.  Not ratting out Boomer the second she leaves the room is dogshit writing and the next episode with Ellen is straight out of Jack Bauer bullshit plot twist 101.

I may just have to write my own damn spec script for this show and show 'em how it's done, yo.

So I posted junk today

Sorry about that.

Bush Drowns in the Blood of the Innocent

and plays fiddle while the Constitution burns

A team of American and Iraqi epidemiologists estimates that 655,000 more people have died in Iraq since coalition forces arrived in March 2003 than would have died if the invasion had not occurred.

The estimate, produced by interviewing residents during a random sampling of households throughout the country, is far higher than ones produced by other groups, including Iraq's government.

It is more than 20 times the estimate of 30,000 civilian deaths that President Bush gave in a speech in December. It is more than 10 times the estimate of roughly 50,000 civilian deaths made by the British-based Iraq Body Count research group.

The surveyors said they found a steady increase in mortality since the invasion, with a steeper rise in the last year that appears to reflect a worsening of violence as reported by the U.S. military, the news media and civilian groups. In the year ending in June, the team calculated Iraq's mortality rate to be roughly four times what it was the year before the war.

Of the total 655,000 estimated "excess deaths," 601,000 resulted from violence and the rest from disease and other causes, according to the study. This is about 500 unexpected violent deaths per day throughout the country.

I've been sitting on this because I don't know quite what to say. The total deaths caused by our country in an illegal, elective war of invasion, brought about by the lies and bloodthirsty sociopathy of a small number of chickenhawks is beyond my powers of comprehension.

Maybe this will help. Iraq had approximately the population of California. Due to our invasion of Iraq we have wiped out the equivalent of most of San Francisco, or all of Anaheim and Bakersfield. Or Sacramento and Fremont.

All of those people are dead because of us. Because of Bush. Impeachment is an insufficient remedy, but it is at least a step towards justice.

Oh, and the story? It was carried on page <strong>A12</strong> of the WaPo. A-12, people, so that the valuable front page real estate could carry things like a warning of the demise of handwriting. What liberal media?

Posting by Email sort of sucks

What's the point if it strips the formatting?  Let's try it this way and see if the link comes through.

Test post via email

tap tap tap... is this thing on?

Does it take 2?

Just checking